A book with Pork Scratchings in the title must be worth a look…
excerpt: At the bus station I approached the information desk and made enquiries about the best way to get to Beverley.
‘Well, ye get the whole bus and then take another to Beverley.’
‘What?’ I said, not quite catching her words.
‘Ye get the whole bus, then get a connection to Beverley.’
‘The whole bus?’ I squeaked.
‘Yes loov, the whole bus.’
For the first time in my brief tour of England I clearly had something to really worry about.
There were lots of other things to worry about: hills, sheep, bird droppings, a man who fed flies to spiders then ate the spiders, and – most worrying of all – a horse that may still be trotting around wearing my underpants.